i barfeds in our rink
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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