we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
