My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
