That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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