I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
