Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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