I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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