Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
