If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
