There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
