i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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