No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
