physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
