Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
