remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
