I hate your face
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
