i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
