i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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