Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
