check it out our google latitudes are spooning
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
