Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
