Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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