Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
