Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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