My brain says no but my pants say off.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
