HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
