Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
