just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
handjob tips. give me some.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
