People in love make me want to vomit
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
