STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
