I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
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