just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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