my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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