she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
