I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
