I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
