Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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