five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
