can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Damn victory sex feels great
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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