hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I love black thongs
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
