so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
