I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
