Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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