we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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