I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
