thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
