areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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