I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
