Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
honey bunches of taint.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
