I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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