D3 body, D1 cock
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
