is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
