so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
