just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
